You Rewind This

Sliding This Into The Amazing Category

Les Belles

I just realized that one of my blog's labels on the left side of this page says "fantasy."

If you click on the "fantasy" label, it takes you to a picture of a naked dude with his head in his ass.

This is admittedly pretty god awful yes. And thus, I would like to offer a retroactive "no homo" clause. Or a "pause" clause if you so prefer.

Communication

We are inundated with so much damn communication with everyone around us these days. Twitter. Facebook. Myspace. Text Messages. BBM. Blogs. Email. Gchat. AIM. Even if you don't use any of these modes, you still know they are out there, swarming around you.

All of this makes you forget how it used to be. The days where your only option was to call someone in order to talk to them. You literally just forget. Like I only vaguely recall those days, and they were only happening in the late 90s.

What's next? And, can we ever go back to the way it used to be? Not to say that I would want that, but would it even be possible? What is more personal and extrovertedly invasive than Twitter?? Can it get any worse? Are some of us (all of us?) going to be walking around all day long with cameras in front of our faces in 5-10 years?

Don't get me wrong, all of this technology is very exciting. But it is also very scary because you become dependent on it. When my iPhone runs out of batteries (because of my prolonged use all day), I get pissed off. If I do not have an electronic portal to the outside world at my fingertips, I am affected in a negative way. And I am sure you are too, whatever aforementioned mode you are addicted to.

What's also scary is the up-and-coming generation. My peers and I still remember the days where you had to scrounge around for a quarter to use the payphone. What are the current youths going to remember in 10 years time, debating which of their friends tweet to retweet or perhaps jailbreaking their phone to get even more crazy apps?

Maybe there will just be some sort of a colossal non-violent crash in a couple of years. When all the networks give out because of the over use. Oh wait, that happens every day if you are an AT&T user.

I guess what I am getting at is that it is useful to take the time to stop and reflect on how far technology has come, even in the past 5 years. Then, blog about it.

Look Alikes: Harry Martin from "My 9 News" & Conan O'Brien

From The I-F-ing-Hate-This Dept.

Well that was quick...

I really fucking hate this song:

Owl City - Fireflies
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup. - See the latest featured music videos.

It sounds like a 7 year old kid with a stuffed nose found his parents mic. Plus, it's a song about freaking fireflies. Some really deep quotes:

"'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs from ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance"

"To ten million fireflies
I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell"

"A sock hop beneath my bed"

Ugh.


UPDATE:
I also really fucking hate this video.

No for November

I didn't post anything in November.

Womp.

My blog game is one big fail. Sorry to any readers out there.

But I shall return. With more Look Alikes and random thoughts and Yankee nostalgia.

Till then...

Great All-Around Sports Weekend

In chronological order:

-My Zogsports touch football team scored a win this weekend. First half I caught a 2-point conversion. Second half, due to a couple of people having to leave early, I took over as QB and threw for a TD and ran for a TD. Also threw a late game pick (I was confused about the score).

-Made a bet with a colleague at work about Michael Crabtree's catches this weekend. Line was 3.5. I went over. Crabtree got 5 catches... and I got 5 dollars.

-My fantasy team won it's 5th game in a row. After starting 0-2 I am now 5-2 and in sole possession of 3rd place in my (12 team) league. I have basically won off of waiver wire pickups (Miles Austin, Hakeem Nicks, Austin Collie).

-YANKEES! 6 long years have passes since we have last won the pennant. I am ecstatic about our current team.

Maybe You've Seen This, Maybe Not

Some Great Vids

Fuck Chris Brown:

they couldn't use the real instrumental? or spell rihanna's name right? smh. otherwise, really good.

MJ's "This Is It" footage:

damn he sounds amazing! plus, I am going to pull that move at 0:11 ALL THE TIME IN THE CLUB!! The NEW MJ MOVE, bitches! (keep replaying it..hilarious)

"Turn My Swag On" flipped and reversed:

Look Alikes: Kevin Connolly & Sam Rockwell

Maybe Kanye Had A Point...

...you decide.

vs.

Beyonce - Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) [Official Video]

A Quarter Is Worth More Than 25 Cents

I think about random things (surprise). This is one of them. Think about this:

Would you pay two dimes and six pennies for a quarter? How about two dimes, a nickel and three pennies? How about 3 dimes?

While you're thinking "why the fuck did I go to this blog?", I'm answering a definitive YES!

If you have ever had a laundry machine in your building that only takes hundreds of quarters, OR, if you drive in the city and park in front of meters, than you are totally agreeing with me. It's so simple it's beautiful: quarters are worth MORE than their stated value!

Cold

It's fucking cold out. I don't like when it is like this. Not one bit. This is right at the time when I start developing the sniffles. I HATE THE SNIFFLES!! I hate waking up and sneezing like 6 times. Even though I know that a sneeze is 1/6th of an orgasm (look it up), it doesn't mathematically add up to a morning nut.

Come to think of it, this summer's weather has sucked. June was the rainiest month in the history of mankind (look it up). They should have filmed a fucking rain disaster movie. It could've been called "Rain of Terror."

July wasn't much better. Lots of clouds. And then August was the same, and then the cold hit you in the nuts September 1st. Ugh. On top of all that, SAD is coming. Oh yes, Seasonal Affective Disorder i.e. the Greatest Acronym of All Time. What dickhead came up with that?? Probably the same one who put an "s" in lisp. He probably tried to call AIDS GAYDS back in the early 80s but that didn't pan out.

Week One? A Weak Loss.

Ugh. What a horrid way to start my fantasy football season. After a dismal finish last year (my first year of participation ever), I came into this season with high(er) expectations. By the accounts of many of my peers my draft went well. My starting O looked like this:

QB - Ryan

RB- Slaton

RB- Forte

WR- Houshmandezah

WR- Boldin

W/R- Driver

TE- Miller

K- Akers

Not bad, right?

Well it was bad... real bad today. The line on them looked like this:

17

2

6

4

1

3

(hasn't played yet, like it really matters)

9

...

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!??!?!?!?!

Slaton shat the bed. Forte fucked up. Boldin bitched out. Houshmendshahajjskjh.. whatever.

I am very dissapointed. Like EXTREMELY upset. So what better way to cope than to self-depricate. Let's do it!:

1) My fucking kicker had more points than the #4 (Forte) and #15 (Slaton) running backs in the league... COMBINED!!

2) My Mr. Irrelevent (Devery Henderson), who of course was on the bench, had more points than my 3 starting wide receivers... AND 2 starting running backs... COMBINED!!

3) I actually took some time debating whether to start Moss or Boldin because Boldin was questionable. Well thank god I started Boldin. +1 fantasy points for me!!

4) Even if I started my OPTIMAL lineup, I still would have lost by 20+ points!!

5) Tomorrow is a battle for last place. So far I am 2nd to last in terms of total points in the league.. but I have one guy going, while the other loser has 3 guys going, including TO. Looks like I'm going to be the one taking home the trophy.

I actually feel... just really fucking tired. Maybe if I go to sleep I'll gain 54 points and be tied with my opponent at 114.

9/11 - 8 years later...

It's here again. The day that annually brings up a mixture of sadness, sickness and reflection. It's been 8 years since that day which is in itself unbelievable (time flys!). I always take 9/11 to think back on where I was when it all went down. But I also develop new thoughts as time goes by. Here are my more recent ones:

-It's been 8 years. Why the hell hasn't anything been built yet? I really think that is a disgrace and it greatly upsets me.

-I dabbed a good amount in investigating 9/11 conspiracy theories. Does that make me the Democratic equivalent of a Republican "birther?"

-I don't think terrosism is as big an issue as it has been made out to be. Obviously not taking anything away from 9/11 and its tragedy, but I think that if the terror threat was really as severe as people say then there would be a lot more instances of terrorism. Think about how easy it would be to take a bomb onto a train or a bus! Yes the planes are protected heavily, but Amtrak never scans bags; the MTA never scans bags. It seems like the US only implements security measures after the fact - like taking off your damn shoes in the airport.

-We are still fighting two wars because of 9/11. Has it all been worth it? Have all the lives we've lost been worth it? Are we really safer than before?

Look Alikes: Julianna Margulies & Famke Janssen

Side note: I sat RIGHT next to Famke (better known as Jean Grey from the X-Men trilogy) the other night at dinner and she is even more hot in person.

Yankees v. Red Sox

HUGE game tonight! The Yankees are 2.5 up on the Sux while opening up a 4 game set at the Stadium.

Best case scenario: The Sux leave town 6.5 away from first place.

Worst case scenario: The Sux leave town 1.5 ahead in first place.

Let me see here... I think I am going to ask (pretend) God for the Best case. Regardless, the Yankees are on a tad bit of a roll having beaten up on Halladay and the Jays. The Sux are on a tad bit of a bagel having been beaten up by John Doe and the Rays. We're bringing Joba back who's 3-0 with an 0.83 ERA since the All-Star Break. They're bringing John "Maybe I Should Retire" Smoltz who's 1-2 with a 9.18 ERA since the All-Star Break. Oh and Jason Bay is out for the Sux.

I'm pretty sure all signs point to a Yanks W tonight. But not so fast...

This is usually the type of game that historically (since 2003) the Yankees have choked the big one in. Let's see if this season is truly different.

Keys to a W:

1) Joba

Joba needs to bring the heat for a 4th straight start. He's going on 7 days of rest which can either be good for him (fresh, ready to go) or very very bad (overamped, remember his 1st innings earlier this year?).

2) A-Rod

A-Roid needs to take a step back and relax. He's only batting .209 at the Stadium this year. Since the Break, he's (18 games) he's hitting .274 (not that bad) with 10 RBIs (eh..) and only 2 home runs (puke). If he comes up big this series, we'll win.

3) Youkilis

First off, this is one of the ugliest people in baseball. Fuck that, the world. Just look at him:

Did you throw up yet? I sure did. HE IS SOOOO UGLY!!!! He's like a lovechild of a retarded neanderthal and Janet Reno. I'm pretty sure I saw him in a Geico commercial. I hate him. I hate him so much, mostly because he is so god damn hard to look at. I feel like I'm a vampire from True Blood with my bleeding eyes. This man (?) was uppercutted with the most massive ugly stick by his pediatrician when he was born. His mother must have tried to stuff him back in and get a refund. Am I driving home my point here? Ugh..

Anyway, Mr. Asshole can really hit. He's batting .368 since the break. We have to contain him. Joba needs to pitch inside again. I love when he does that. Maybe it will cause brawl and Sergio Mitre can stab Youkilis in the kydney Mexican mafia style.

So safe to say I am looking forward to this series. 0-8 against the Sux is not acceptable. At all. At the same time, that was a different team back then. I hope.

PS: One more stat to compare.. Guess what it is!:

Yankees: 1923, 1927, 1928, 1932, 1936, 1937, 1938, 1939, 1941, 1943, 1947, 1949, 1950, 1951, 1952, 1953, 1956,1958, 1961, 1962, 1977, 1978, 1996, 1998, 1999, 2000

Red Sox: 1903, 1912, 1916, 1918, 1936, 2004*, 2007*

Why is it even a rivalry?

Emails to the Future

No this is not a post about the remake of "Back to the Future." Although I would pay a good amount for either that or Part 4. This is about wanting to send an email to a future time. Have you ever wanted to do that? Well I have. Anyway, there are two sites that are worth checking out if you're into that sort of thing:

1) FutureMe.org

FutureMe is a basic EtotheF site. You can send an email as far as almost 30 years from now. This is great if you want to say hi to yourself from the past, if you are making a bet with someone you are sure you will forget, or for any other reason you can think of.

2) LetterMeLater.com

Just discovered this today. This site allows you to do as much as FutureMe, but you have the option of not having to log-in through their site. You can actually send an email from whatever service you use and it will let you send something to the future. This can be great for those late night emails you want to send but don't want to appear either weird, drunk or a loser.

As an aside, it would make life much simpler if GMail just had a "Send Later" option. Until then, these sites work great.

I Can't Wait For This

I love(d) Seinfeld so when the news came out this past May that all four of the stars would be on the upcoming season of Larry David's "Curb Your Enthusiasm," I was excited. Based on the news from yesterday, I am now officially VERY excited.

Apparently, according to Larry David himself, Seinfeld, Richards, Dreyfus, and Alexander, will appear in 5 episodes in the critically acclaimed HBO sitcom. David had this to say:

"The context is for years I've been asked about a 'Seinfeld' reunion -- as has Jerry and the other cast members, I would say, 'No, there's no reunion, we would never do that, it's a lame idea' ... but it might be really funny to do that on 'Curb' ... and I kept thinking of how we could pull this off, and Jerry was game ... so we're doing a 'Seinfeld' reunion show. ... We'll see the read-through, parts of rehearsals, the show being filmed ... you won't see the entire [mock 'Seinfeld' episode] ... you'll get an idea of what happened 11 years later [for the characters].".. "It was like getting on a bicycle," David said of writing "Seinfeld" dialog again. "Coming up with the right ideas about what they'd be doing 11 years later ... that took some thought."

LeBron Gets Dunked On!!!

fast forward to 0:34 for the good stuff!

Pepsi Killed Michael Jackson

The date - January 27th, 1984.

The spot - The Shrine Audotorium in Los Angeles

The reason - Pepsi's new commerical featuring Michael Jackson and his brothers

Peep this never-before-seen footage:


Michael suffered second and third degree burns on his head and scalp. He was rushed to the hospital, after which he was prescribed several medications. Sources report that it is this incident that kicked off Michael's addiciton to painkillers and his obsession with plastic surgery.

[paraphrased from Usmagazine.com]

Look Alikes: "Jennifer's Body" Poster & "True Blood" Poster

Never-Bofore-Seen Interview With MJ

This is an interview from the set of the "Bad" music video. Check it out:



Also, one more thing. You can tell that MJ's skin color is obviously lighter, but I think his face is full of makeup. I personally believe he had vitiligo, the skin disorder that rids one of skin pigmentation, thus rendering the person looking white. But look at MJs hands! You can see that they are still black. So he must have had white blotches on or around his face, thus the reason for the make-up. Here are some photos of MJ with the skin blotches:

Sunday Thoughts

I live right next to a church so every Sunday I see a ton of people out and about dressed in their Sunday best. Cars double parked, children dressed up - just a regular Sunday on 157th. Today was no different, but I did start thinking of some things. My thoughts in no way mean to offend.

What if the collective energy of all the people that go to church on Sundays, instead of being directed at prayer, worship and singing, began to be directed at the collective improvement of this country, starting as small as on the local community level? What if instead of sitting (or standing) around all day Sunday, these collective groups of people across this nation took their Sundays to help clean up their communities, or maybe to teach their children, or maybe to hold discussion groups on the country's issues, or maybe to organize support rallies or peaceful protests? What if instead of praying on Sundays for good things to occur, people started to take control of their lives and made good things start occurring.

These are obviously musings of an atheist, but it there is something to be said for them. I believe in the power of the human mind. I think we have yet to truly tap into its potential. I believe especially in the power of the human collective. I think we can do extraordinary things in this life. Unfortunately, I think Religion preys on this potential. People waste time praying for change instead of forcing it. Now I know, I know, "waste" is a very strong word and obviously is stated from my frame of reference and relative only to my experiences. There are people who very strongly believe in their religion, in their god(s), in their Sundays. But I look around the communities I work and live in and I see a lot of room for improvement, both aesthetically and fundamentally. And then I look at the amount of organization, thought and energy that goes into every Sunday. Then I think to myself, what does a day of prayer on Sunday really do, not in theory, but in practice? Do the streets get cleaned up? Do children get taught, not on scripture, but on the ins and outs of their daily lives? Do the conditions improve? And I am not sure about the answer to those questions.

Of course, there are amazing people that take their Sundays to relax, reflect and release. They use as their motivation for the week ahead. But I know there are many more people that instead of affecting change on their own take solace in going to church every Sunday and praying for change. Perhaps almost as adverse as our broken welfare system.

This topic is obviously a loaded one. And many people will be offended even at the sight of these thoughts because all they have known in their Sundays was collective prayer. Anyway, this is just something that I was thinking about. It's not like I really use my Sundays for anything substancial.

Look Alikes: Alfredo Aceves & Jim Leyritz

REBLOG!: Michael

[Orginally posted September 16, 2007. Hey if you can do it on twitter, you can do it here!]
"She gotta light skinned friend look like Michael Jackson/
Gotta dark skinned friend look like Michael Jackson..." - KW

Posting about Britney and the VMAs made me think back to other memorable VMA performances, but for the right reason. In my mind, this performace in 1995 by the G.O.A.T., Michael Jackson, is the best. The. Best. Ever.



I need you to watch it now, in it's entirety. Go ahead.

OK, now back to the post. As you just saw he is amazing. Specifically though, I love how Slash comes on, does his thing, then doesn't leave. Ha! You see how pissed MJ was? And then, Slash started riffing to "Billie Jean." Amazing.

Speaking of "Billie Jean," how sick was it when Michael restarted the song by flipping the fedora back on his head. Kind of how Chris Brown did it in his tribute to him here:



And then at the end of BJ, MJ just rips it with his freestyle robot dancing. 12 years from then he is still the best.

Funny thing that Brit is criticized by lip synching. Michael lip "sunch" through his whole performance, but he was just so good. And the group dancing to "Dangerous" at the end of his VMA performance? Also amazing.

Say what you want to say about MJ being a freak or what not, but no one out there can deny that he is a musical genius. He has single-handedly shaped the RnB and Pop fields for the next generation, molding the likes of Usher, Justin and the aforementioned Chris Brown. He is like Michael Jordan but more timeless. Every new RnB or Pop singer will always be compared to Michael first. His music and dance moves will live on forever. I just wish he makes one more comeback.

Me Likey

Michael Jackson

This is a very very sad day. People can make jokes and laugh, but they cannot deny the true talent this man had. Simply stated: he was a genius. No one ever in the history of music was able to connect with so many different people, regardless of their race, gender, age, class, nationality, ethnicity, you name it. Because that is the true power of music and what it can do in this world. MJ showed us how united we can be over something as simple as one song. Everyone loved his music. Everyone knows his music. His music immortalizes him.

What is sad is that I don't think he was ever truly happy. Obviously I would have no way of knowing it, but common sense points to that sad fact. The way he butchered his face, the way he lightened his skin, his weird relationship with children - this made MJ a very human figure. He was a genius when it came to music, but a struggling man when it came to things outside of music. But how could he not be? We all are familiar with his life story, his launch into stardom at the age of 11. 11! He was always in the spotlight, always performing, always trying to please other people. That can mess a person up! And it sure messed him up.

But this should be a moment for remembering the positives. Part of me feels like its not right to only remember and appreciate a man at their death. But that is the reality of the situation. MJ is gone. No more new music, no more new genius. Even though he hadn't recorded in a while, all of us still held out hope that he would regain his contemporary status with something new, something amazing. Now, that will never happen.

Somehow I knew this was going to happen. He always seemed so frail, so fragile. I had this feeling that he's just not going to make it, something bad will happen. But it is still an unbelievable and devastating shock. You always looked at MJ and thought about all of the things he could've been doing to right his life. He would keep making these dumb decisions! Wasting money. Having kids over. Plastic surgery. He was a fascinating human being who was able to fixate the whole world on himself.

But man, his music... his music will live forever. Hit after hit after hit. He made pop. He revolutionized music. Everything we see now is a recycling of what he has done.

I hope he rests in peace and perhaps finds what he has always been looking for.

I Love Apocalyptic Movies...

...Like this one coming out:



I would say my top 3 apocalyptic/futuristic let's-fuck-with-the-landscape movies are:

1) Day After Tomorrow

2) I Am Legend

3) Children of Men

What are yours?

Um.... SICK!!

Martin Scorcese's "Shutter Island"

DangEARous, that girl is so DangEARous... hee hee!

OK, nasty newsflash: it appEARs Michael Jackson has been using the cartilage from his ear to rebuild his nose ever since the 90s.

Here he is before the butchEARing:

Here he is after the butchEARing:

I mean, really? This is SO fucked up!!! I guess it makes total sense, but still its freaking nasty. WHere else has he been getting skin from? You know his nose needed skin upon skin throughout the yEARs.

Things I Despise

These (boat) shoes really piss me off. First of all, they are so unbelievably ugly, it hurts. I don't want to see people walking around with their nasty-ass feet exuding stank smells from those holes. Which brings me to my next point - these (boat) shoes look (and probably are) extremely uncomfortable. I mean, they're plastic, right? Regardless I just think that people that wear these shoes are douche-bags. I believe you can judge people by what they wear - you can judge their fashion sense, there personality, and their decision making skills. These (boat) shoes are fugly, they look like extensions of annoying people and they are definitely a HORRIBLE decision no matter which way you want to twist it.

Oh, and they're called "crocs"? Unbelievable.

Funny

Watch this. It is funny. But if you lack time, just fast forward to 2:19, then watch for 6 seconds.

Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

The Fate of My License Plate

I have been an avid automobile operator since 2001. It took me 4 times to pass my road test, but when I did, I propelled myself into my Solid (Jersey?) Gold 1995 Toyota Camry. 

Witness the greatness:

This car was passed down (given) from my father, to my mother and then to me. I didn't care about its age or lack of a security system, or the fact that it was stolen in '98 from my driveway and all they left was a dollar on the ground (true story), or its eventual lack of the honk feature, all I cared was that I could drive. Now what I did grow to care about greatly was my license plate. "License plate??", you ask. Yes, license plate. 

Witness the greatness, part deux:

Nothing special to you, but to me this was basically the name of my car. I cannot tell you the amount of times I had to input this plate number into the Traffic Violations Bureau website in order to see how much I owed for a ticket. It had to have exceeded 30. But as time passed, New York State license plates changed. The Statue of Liberty vanished; in it's place, some random blue jungle shit. Now, when New York state instituted these changes and required all plates to change, the amount of digits ALSO changed. So New York went from having the very symmetric and beautiful looking ABC-123 format to the ugly nasty ABC-1234 format. But not I!  My license plate number stayed the same!

Witness the greatness, part III:

Unfortunately folks, F80-1LK recently passed away... for good. For reasons I shall not get into here, I was forced to go to the Department of Mean Vaginas not once, not twice, but THREE times in order to get a new registration for my vehicle. My prize for my patience? This foul piece of horridness.

Witness the ebb, part "this sucks fat cow dick":

Come on!?!?!? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??? ERK...??? Ugh! Ugly ugly ugly. UGHly. Now I go from being a one of a kind driver with a super-awesome-cool ABC-123 formatted licence plate to a run-of-the-mill looking-like-every-other-car ABC-1234 formatted piece of crap.

This may sound unreasonable and retarded, but I am so serious. I am so sincere.

I want my plate back!

Look Alikes: Amalgamated Bank Logo & "American Bandstand" Logo

Some Thoughts

Haven't updated in awhile. SORRY!

Some quick thoughts:

1) Riverdale in the news a lot recently. First about Horace Mann closing for swine flu ::cough:: BULLSHIT ::cough:: and now this:

FBI arrest four in alleged plot to bomb Bronx synagogues, shoot down plane

Wow. I mean, what the fuck?? I guess this is where I would make a Jewish joke, but this is too much! Home grown terrorists in the 'Dale... of all places??? Messed up.

2)  Yankees have been making me feel real good. Mr. Leigh Teixeira is finally stepping up. Maybe Alex got him some juice?

3)  Fox news: obviously, it is a joke network. But, it has had the highest ratings consistently. This has pissed me off. Then I got to thinking about it. We all know our education system has been failing miserably for the past 20+ years. So, now we have a lot of people who have grown up with a sub-par education, right? Well, are those people more likely to watch real, objective news that make you think?.... OR.... bullshit propaganda that is basically a low form of entertainment? The fact that Fox News is so popular is just a sad testament to the educational state of America.

Please Sir, Can I Have Some More?

Aerial shot of opening day, 1923. This is amazing. Especially if you know that area.

Another Old Picture

I've been looking at a lot of picture of the old OLD Yankee Stadium, like from 1923-1973 yankee stadium, before it was renovated. I came across this picture from 1951 and I thought it was cool. Mostly because it shows the old Yankee Stadium (left), as well as the Polo Grounds (mid-right). This is also where I travel back forth everyday to go to work.  I love how the FDR drive wasn't even built yet, but you can see the beginnings of the Major Deegan. Also, the skyline in the background is pretty sick.

Controlled Road Rage

You may think this post is about me keeping my road rage in control. Quite the opposite - I have really learned how to successfully control the output of my rage in such a way that my words come out clearly and stutter-free. I used to get so mad that I would mutter some Russian-accent shit that no one understood that made me even more mad! Or I would think of something way too late and miss the perfect opportunity for the rethwart (pun).

Not anymore!

I have had a sick streak recently of totally laying into the opposition. 

Exsickbit A:  Stuck behind a van at a red light. The light turned green and the van wasn't moving. I start honking; do not stop until the van moves (a good 10 straight seconds of honk). When finished I hear someone say "Shut up!" and think its  from an apt window. Light is red again. Some blond shaggy haired woman emerges on the sidewalk and says "You! Shut up!" I roll down my window as she says "So fucking rude!" Walks away. I say, "MIND YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS! NO ONE WAS FUCKING TALKING TO YOU!" I see her bright blue umbrella stop, then she walks back and starts saying something that I totally interrupt and say "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" As she walks away and the light turns green, I go around the van and honk more when I pass her.

Exsickbit B:  On way to work. Coming out of underpass stop for red light behind some cars. Look left. Some bum-ass old guy is positioning himself to piss on the wall of the underpass, third of a way up the staircase. I am dumbfounded and I get pissed. As he stops and walks away and I start driving, I roll down window and in clear concise American English: "FIND A BATHROOM!"

Exsickbit c:  Way back from dinner, about to go on Damn Macombs Bridge (pun). Traffic cops out to regulate bc end of Yankees game. I am first at red light. Looking at my phone. Look up, light is already green and traffic cop is belligerently waving his hands for me to go. Then makes some mocking hand movements as if he's holding the wheel and doesn't know what to do (making fun of me) as I am approaching him he is muttering some F-words. Without missing a single beat, I say turning to him- "FUCK OFF!!"

What A Horrible Weekend for NY Sports...

... I mean seriously. The Rangers blow a 3-1 series lead, and the freakin Yankees get swept by the Red Sux, in an extremely embarassing fashion.

I was away in DC, was that the problem?

Anyway, only one thing can make me feel better, and that thing is the following trailer:

Look Alikes: Reverend from "Haunting in Connecticut" and Agent from "Law & Order: SVU"

New movie from the director of Office Space

Um... Amazing

Look Alikes: Wall-E and Johnny 5 from Short Circuit

Look Alikes: Kid from AT&T Rollover Minutes Commercial and Anthony Anderson

Old School NYC

So this is apparently a photo of Broadway in New York City from get this...

1848!

I've always been fascinated with old photos of the city. Not just old like 1920's, 1930's, but "old" like 1700's, 1800's. I mean, look at the photo! It's crazy how different it looked back then! 

Some more old pics of NYC can be found here.

Some highlights (albeit later than 1848):

West St. circa 1885

Broadway circa 1894

Twitter Killed The Blog Star

You know twitter does that. It sucks all the good ideas out of you (in under 140 characters only). I have ideas, but I then immediately twit them. No need for a blog post now.

It's like masturbating. A quickie. A tad shameful if you've been blogging a lot.

Nonetheless I can't use Twitter as an excuse not to blog. And neither can you.

Some Major Code Switching...

"Well... At Least He Kept Us Safe!"

What's bothering me recently is the amount of people coming on networks like MSNBC and CNN and arguing about Bush's legacy. The anchors usually spew out a bunch of awful numbers about how horrible Bush was, and the defendents always come out with the same line:

"Well, at least he kept us safe!"

And that seems to be the main mantra for all the Bush apologists. Yes he ran up the deficit, yes he fucked up Katrina, yes he mixed religion and politics, yes he crumbled the economy, yes he lied about Iraq... but, at least he kept us safe!

As Polow Da Don says... "Wait A Minute, Mothaf*cka!"

The thing is, he DID NOT keep us safe! Last time I checked, September 11, 2001 is listed in the history books as 9 months AFTER Bush took office. If a baby can be born in that amount of time, couldn't Bush and his cronies stop the worst terrorist attack on US soil EVER???

And yet, when that fact is mentioned to all these Bush dick-riders, they come back with, well, you know you can't just blame something that happened during a president's watch on the president! Huh? Um, what? Chris Matthews tries to argue this with Ari Fleisher in the link I provided above for MSNBC. It's retarded and ridiculous. Bush sucked. At everything. Period.

I'm On Twitter

twitter.com/theDAT

Look Alikes: Creed from "The Office" and Locke from "Lost"

D@ Playlist - March 10, 2009

1. Walkin On The Moon - The-Dream ft. Kanye West
2. Turnin Me On (Remix) - Keri Hilson ft. T-Pain, Lil Wayne
3. Kiss Me Thru The Phone - Soulja Boy ft. Sammie
4. Drop - Rich Boy
5. We Are The People - Empire Of The Sun

SNOW DAY!!!

Wow, it looks like all my complaints here were finally adressed!

This is remarkable. Unbelievable. Amazing. Sick. Wonderful.

The last time NYCDOE schools closed were January 28, 2004. Five years ago. And now today, March 2, 2009.

I feel like a private school teacher.

What will I do today? Laundry. Gym. Food. The possibilities are endless. There is no better feeling that to wake up to someone telling you that there is no school today. I thought I forgot how that feeling felt and that I would never feel it again. I was dead wrong!!

Sad

So the rumor is that Chris Brown and Rihanna are back together again.

I personally feel very saddened by this news and here's why:

Chris Brown beat the shit out of Rihanna. For whatever reason it was for, he laid his hands on a woman. The photo of her after the ordeal is the proof in the pudding  (or not?). Now, it is my personal belief that one should NEVER, EVER touch a woman in that manner. Let me repeat that:

A woman should never be disrespected and hurt like that by another man.

What upsets me so much though is not the fact that she would take him back after what has happened, but the message this sends to all of her female fans.

She is basically condoning Chris Brown's behavior.

She is saying it is alright for a man to beat down a woman he supposedly loves, because Chris beat her down, but she went back to him.

I mean C'MON, what the fuck?!?!?! Have some god damn balls Rihanna!!! This is pathetic. You can have ANYONE. But you choose to take back this weasel after he laid his hands on you for the whole world to see.

It's just sad to me, very very sad. It shows how insecure Rihanna is. It shows how young and immature she is when it comes to relationships. Moreover, it sends a very very dangerous message: it is ok to forgive and forget when a man hits you. That should NEVER be OK. I don't care what the woman did, or how bad she hurt the guy. I don't care if she slept with his best friend, took a video of it and sent it to his parents, you NEVER hit a girl.

The only solace I have is that Chris Brown's career is over. I hope at least that it is. A part of me though thinks that just like Rihanna took him back, his fans will as well. 

And now, a parody:

YOU DIDN'T TAKE ME DOWN LAST NIGHT!!

Snow in March?!?

So if you haven't heard it's supposed to snow 6-10 tonight and tomorrow.

WHAT THE FUCK.

You know, I used to love snow. And the potential for snow days. That was until I started working for the NYC Dept. of Ed. First off, there is always an absolute ZERO percent chance that I will have a snow day. That's because school NEVER gets called off.

Here's the thing about that: this year I started working as my school's Attendance Coordinator. This means I am in charge of the Attendance Committee (composed of the principal, guidance counselor, family worker, parent coordinator and a teacher). We meet Mondays to look at our year-to-date attendance, as well as those kids who have "trouble" coming to school every day. Last year, our school's attendance for the whole year was 87.5%. That kind of blows. The goal every year is 90%. Even that kind of blows but is pretty good for a public school in the South Bronx.

So far this year our YTD attendance is 89.7%. Last year at this time it was 89.0%. So we have made progress. The thing is, on days that it snows profusely... NO ONE COMES. I mean, people come, but if on any average day we get an attendance rate anywhere from 85-95%, on days (probably) like tomorrow, we will get anywhere from 65-75%. 

THIS BLOWS HARD!!

Mainly, because it's hard to rebound from a shitty day like that. Also because kids that do come end up getting sick because of the cold and then missing more school days later. 

In situations like this, it is just better for the chancellor and/or mayor to just call school off. But that never happens in the public school world (that would make too much sense).

This Guy Is A Certified Maniac

Alan Keyes?? He was supposed to be a respected politician? What the hell is wrong with him???

D@ Playlist - February 20, 2009

1. Topless - Dr. Dre ft. T.I., Nas
2. All The Above - Maino ft. T-Pain
3. Rockin' That Shit - The-Dream
4. Digital Girl - Jamie Foxx ft. Kanye West, The-Dream
5. Move On - Slaughterhouse

Sinister

What's up with B-Ob's signature form? Looks like he's trying to touch his thumb to his forearm. And I was going to try and write a whole blog post about it, but then I caught this video on cnn.com about it and it seemed plagiaristic to go further:

Break

I have been on a break since Monday (haha private school pedagogues!!) and it has been very nice. Although I started the break (and Valentine's Day) sick, I have since gotten better and have been able to sleep late (except today when I had to move my car due to street cleaning rules and, apparently, you get towed if you don't move it, see Tuesday), catch up a little in GTAIV, do some grading, and catch up on TV.

Breaks are great, if utilized properly. You hate to get into that bored groove where you cannot get anything productive done and you feel like a complete waste. Thankfully, I have been able to avoid that this break. We'll see how the rest of it goes.

Curious Case

They really did an amazing job with the make-up/effects. For half of these scenes below I actually thought it was Brad Pitt!

Whats up with all these mall cop movies?

This is like Paul Blart on drugs. But it looks amazing.

People/Things I Hate

1) People that don't take off plastic protection covers from electronics

I never got this and it annoys me to no end. You just purchase a new electrical product, let's say an iphone or whatever else, and it's got a plastic sticky thing on it, obviously meant to be taken off after purchase. But you don't take it off. Why? Why don't you? Hey.. I know why! It's because you're retarded. Yes, you are mentally deficient for doing that and for that, I hate you.

2) People who ride Brett Favre's dick

Listen, I have a newsflash for all y'all: BRETT FAVRE SUCKS! Yes, he is not good. Not good at all. Let's think about why? Hmm...maybe it's because for every 1.5 touchdowns he throws, he throws 1 interception. Let me think, is that good? MMMM.... NO! So then why do you think he is so good?!? Why? I know why, because you're retarded. And, I hate you.

3) That the New Yorker cover does not correspond to a cover story

Man, I've caught myself so many times standing next to a magazine stand ruffling through the New Yorker and for the life of me not understanding why I can't find the cover story. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! Very annoying. Whoever thought of that... I hate you.

Lost

So Lost is officially the shit again, if you haven't been following along. The new season started last Wednesday to the tune of 20 millions viewers. Tonight's episode was sick. So sick that I suggest you start watching this season if you have watched Lost before. And if you haven't, I suggest you catch up as fast as humanly possible (I have seasons 1-3 to lend if you want).

I want to mention some things about tonight's episode. If you haven't watched it yet, don't read on. There will be some spoilers.


Here are my top 3 moments of the episode, followed by some stream of consciousness thoughts:

1) When Richard admonishes the young British soldier revealing him to be Charles Whitmore

- so Whitmore is an Other?!? What the FUCK?? This is why Locke couldn't shoot at him, because he can't change the future. But Whitmore did kill that other soldier dude. Maybe that was Charlotte's father? Maybe that is why she looks like she's going to die, because she is getting erased (BtotheF style?). Now this totally connects Whitmore to Ben (and Richard). Now what happened with Ben and Whitmore? Where was the falling out? Does Whitmore remember the un-Oceanic 6 (Sawyer, Juliet, Locke, Miles, Charlotte, Faraday) from his island days? Is this why he funds Faraday's research?

2) When Desmond hears from the braindead lady's sister that Whitmore funded Faraday

- damn I feel sorry for Desmond. He just cannot escape his in-law. This guy is everywhere for him. Took some balls for him to walk into his office like that. Ultimately, Whitmore cannot hate the dude. He knows he is making his daughter happy. But now they are going to LA. And didn't Ben promise to kill Penny? Uh-oh.

3) When Faraday makes the little I'm-in-love-with-Charlotte speech

- Yes, a little cheesy, but I still liked it. Especially when the Lost violin music plays. Nice to see that happening for someone other that Jack-Kate-Sawyer. Which brings me to my next point:

Honorable mention: This was the first episode in a long time that did not have Jack, Kate or Ben. A welcome respite, I think. Plus, I like Desmond episodes. And I am beginning to like this little time traveling that the un-Oceanic 6 is partaking in. Although it is a tad-far fetched, what isn't on this magical little island?

Another thing to think about: so Locke tells Richard at the end of the episode to go to his hometown 2 years from 1954 in order to prove to him that he is actually being born. My question is purely procedural, from a time traveling point of view - how does Richard do this intially if not for Locke's statement to him in 1954? What I mean is, doesn't the whole process become circular. Richard sees Locke born, Locke grows up, goes back in time, tell Richard to go see him being born, Richard sees Locke born... and so on and so forth. When does the initial seeing of Locke being born take place IF NOT for Locke traveling back to tell Richard to do this??

Oh man, so much to take back from this episode. Looking forward to next week.