Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Ruuudy... Ruuudy... Ruuudy..

What an idiot!

I mean.. C'MON!! Dude bet all his chips on Florida and came up with nothing. He did do good things in NYC, but personally, he's a douche so the better for the country.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Learn English!

What is wrong with the following picture? Do not worry, you have a couple of seconds to guess...

Done yet? You got it? You probably have seen a million times in the city.. but you do not know what is wrong with it.

Put yourself in the shoes of one who needs to "Learn English!" Do you think you would know how to "Read English!" or maybe even "Recognize English!" I think not. Thus, how in the world, could you, our fresh off the boat foreigner, come to this advertisement, and suddenly understand that it offers you your dream of learning English???


And herein lies my complete and utter disgust.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

South Carolina, c'mon and raise (race?) up!

Race and politics. Race and the 2008 election. Race and Obama/Clinton. Heavy stuff.

I don't want to get too serious, because I can, but why is it that today, every time I went to, I get as the main picture a black person voting? Why is the media shoving this in our face so much?

This is a touchy subject, race always is, but c'mon now. I know Obama is black (although his mom is white so he is mixed although I heard that is an offensive word), and the black vote is important in South Carolina, but don't you think this is too much?

Politics and serving people should not be about race, nor gender, nor any other social construct. If elected, Obama will serve all people, not just white people, or black people. Obviously it would be naive and stupid for me to say that we should all be colorblind and accept people for who they are, although that is what we should do but we're a long way off, but I find this election/primary season turning in to something that it should not be about.

Yes, South Carolina is comprised of a voting block of which the black vote will count for about fifty percent but that should not be the main issue of focus. I don't know, maybe I am way off. What do you think?

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The Best

Behold one of the funniest TV clips ever. A classic.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


I went to DC this past weekend, only really for Saturday night. I ended up eating at Morton's, a steakhouse, with many a friends. The steak there is delish, and when it came time to order the sides, I bitched about getting asparagus. When it came, no one was interested, so I ended up eating all of it.

I'll tell you this, for the next day and a half, my piss smelled like heaven.

Do you like the smell of asparagus piss? I do. To be more specific, I like the smell of MY asparagus piss. There is something about that aroma that really does it for me, no homo, no pedorass. It's like an accomplishment, but a more subtle one compared to the huge-meal-eating-big-shit-stinking kind.

Do I like to eat asparagus because I know my pee will smell dandy? I don't know. I think not but maybe. All I know is that this Morton's asparagus, all seven glorious sticks of it gave me the most wonderful next eleven urination sessions ever.

Asparagushing with joy!

Fortune Cookies

I'll be the first to say it: fortune cookies have been on a steady and steep decline since the mid-90s.

Remember having Chinese food with your family when you were a little kid? You so looked forward to the fortune cookie dessert because the fortune given was always so on point.

Now? It's just embarrassing. They put anything in there. I've even had several times where the fortune was missing!

I still go for that cookie though...

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Breaking The Ice

First post after a couple of weeks, always some pressure for it to be good. Rest assured, this one will not be - just a way for me to get back in the game.


> Very much looking forward to that Feb. 16th baseball Congress hearing. Potential for embarrassment: very high. And that means one thing - entertainment through humiliation, always the best kind.

> I have been watching a lot of movies lately, and I mean A LOT. Like an average of 1.5 per week. I have seen basically all the ones out right now. I love it, the whole movie going experience. Even though the past like 5 movies I have seen have been sub-par - Juno, One Missed Call, National Treasure, etc - I still have not lost faith.

> I procrastinate sleep. I get about 4 hours a night on the weekdays only to go to a stressful ass job at 6:45 in the morning. Am I dying?

> White shoes are nice, but they get dirty quickly. What is the solution? Is it black shoes? It cannot be, because they are too doofy.

Signing off.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year!

<-- New Year, new approach: no more rap quotes to start, it keeps me back from posting because I have to go to google every time to find a quote that has to do with my entry, and that's annoying and not really worth it I don't think -->

Happy New Year to all!

2008 - damn! Remember 1998? And looking back on 1988 and thinking that was a long time ago. Like watching "The Big 80s" on VH1 and thinking that the 80s were you're parents shit. Well now 1998 is like that, although it really does not seem that long ago. McGuire and Sosa. Clinton and Lewinsky. Russia's economy in the shitter. In 8th grade. Shit, I teach 8th grade now. Wow.

Anyway, predictions:

- Bloomberg will enter the race in March but won't win. Obama-Edwards vs. Romney-Giuliani in the finals. The former will take it in November.

-Patriots will not win the Superbowl, failing to even reach it. 16-0* goes down the drain.

-Bonds will be charged and will have to serve time. His records will be erased. Many more names will come out from the scandal.

-The Yankees will win the World Series in 6 games against the New York Mets, playing their final game ever in Yankee Stadium.

-The Knicks will continue to suck and Isiah Thomas' job will continue to be safe. Until the end of the season. When he gets fired. And Dolan puts the team up for sale.

-The Beijing Olympics will be surrounded by controversy based on the child-labor grievances present against China. People will boycott.

Well that's about it folks. Raise your glasses - I wish you all happiness, health and hot sex on a platter!

To 2008!