Thursday, August 6, 2009

Yankees v. Red Sox

HUGE game tonight! The Yankees are 2.5 up on the Sux while opening up a 4 game set at the Stadium.

Best case scenario: The Sux leave town 6.5 away from first place.

Worst case scenario: The Sux leave town 1.5 ahead in first place.

Let me see here... I think I am going to ask (pretend) God for the Best case. Regardless, the Yankees are on a tad bit of a roll having beaten up on Halladay and the Jays. The Sux are on a tad bit of a bagel having been beaten up by John Doe and the Rays. We're bringing Joba back who's 3-0 with an 0.83 ERA since the All-Star Break. They're bringing John "Maybe I Should Retire" Smoltz who's 1-2 with a 9.18 ERA since the All-Star Break. Oh and Jason Bay is out for the Sux.

I'm pretty sure all signs point to a Yanks W tonight. But not so fast...

This is usually the type of game that historically (since 2003) the Yankees have choked the big one in. Let's see if this season is truly different.

Keys to a W:

1) Joba

Joba needs to bring the heat for a 4th straight start. He's going on 7 days of rest which can either be good for him (fresh, ready to go) or very very bad (overamped, remember his 1st innings earlier this year?).

2) A-Rod

A-Roid needs to take a step back and relax. He's only batting .209 at the Stadium this year. Since the Break, he's (18 games) he's hitting .274 (not that bad) with 10 RBIs (eh..) and only 2 home runs (puke). If he comes up big this series, we'll win.

3) Youkilis

First off, this is one of the ugliest people in baseball. Fuck that, the world. Just look at him:

Did you throw up yet? I sure did. HE IS SOOOO UGLY!!!! He's like a lovechild of a retarded neanderthal and Janet Reno. I'm pretty sure I saw him in a Geico commercial. I hate him. I hate him so much, mostly because he is so god damn hard to look at. I feel like I'm a vampire from True Blood with my bleeding eyes. This man (?) was uppercutted with the most massive ugly stick by his pediatrician when he was born. His mother must have tried to stuff him back in and get a refund. Am I driving home my point here? Ugh..

Anyway, Mr. Asshole can really hit. He's batting .368 since the break. We have to contain him. Joba needs to pitch inside again. I love when he does that. Maybe it will cause brawl and Sergio Mitre can stab Youkilis in the kydney Mexican mafia style.

So safe to say I am looking forward to this series. 0-8 against the Sux is not acceptable. At all. At the same time, that was a different team back then. I hope.

PS: One more stat to compare.. Guess what it is!:

Red Sox: 1903, 1912, 1916, 1918, 1936, 2004*, 2007*

Why is it even a rivalry?

1 comment:

José said...

Wow. The upper cut really got me.

If I weren't a Yankees fan, I would hate you.

By the way, at least one person likes Youkilis:

Here's a joke for you:
What grim suggestion did the immigrant doctor make to Mrs. Youkilis upon seeing Kevin at birth?


Wait for it...

Answer: You kil' 'is.