Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The Seal of Dissaproval

"Bitch, do I look like your type?" - KW

Why is it every time I tune in to the annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show I have to see the astonishingly ugly Seal singing and making out with the unbelievably gorgeous goddess Heidi Klum???

Call me a hater, but I don't get it. Yea, he has a good voice and everything, but the face?? The teeth?? That gap!!??

And look at her! She is drop. Dead. Gorgeous.

Every single year all girls have the "Aww.. there goes the sweet Seal singing to his beautiful Heidi.. isn't that sweet? :) :) " moment while all the guys have the "What the fuck? How did that guy end up with that girl.. FUCK!" moment.

All this does is relay the FALSE notion that any of us (regular guys) stand a chance with any of them (models). Yes, I understand Seal is a world-renowned singer, but that stock drops through the floor when anyone looks at his face. Even more, that stock is nullified when anyone looks at her face.

Is her stock dropping now because of him? No. HELL NO. Why? Because she is THAT beautiful. She is untouchable. Argh.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Radio Personalities I Hate

"If hip hop should die before I wake , I'll put an extended clip inside of my AK/
Roll to every station, murder the DJ, Roll to every station, murder the DJ..." - NJ

Let me get this out there right now, I absolutely loathe Funkmaster Flex, Ed Lover and Wendy Williams.

Yes, I hate all three of them. A lot. I think they are so unbelievingly annoying in every single thing they do or word they say.

I hate how Funkmaster Flex likes to laugh for maybe 47 seconds straight so that I can hear his crackly shitty laugh and after-laugh. I hate how he decides to start a song then restart it then restart it then restart it then restart it then restart it then restart it then restart it then restart it then restart it then restart it then restart it. The restart it one more time.

I hate how Ed Lover thinks he is hilarious. And in the morning he makes the point of having this little shtick with the other hosts that I don't even want to repeat because it is not funny and not worth my time.

I hate how Wendy Williams just keeps talking and talking and talking and thinking that she is god 's gift to talking. She keeps critiquing and critiquing but I'm pretty sure she is a piece of shit herself. Like Dr. Phil. Don't get me started on him.


Tuesday, December 4, 2007

I Keep Keeping My Hazards On

"Ball like the Knicks and the Mavericks, switchin' the fabrics
Pull up wit some big shit, lieutenant shit, hittin' the hazards..." -

I think I have a major problem. I turn my hazards on when needed. Then, I forget to turn them off.

Did it today. Went to McDonalds to pick up some lunch for a student. Parked at a hydrant. Hit the hazards. After getting the food drove back to school and parked. Had to have a teacher come and tell me 3 hours later that my hazards were still on. Embarrassing.

Especially since everyone passing by my car is thinking, "What an idiot, how could he forget?" I know I think that if I ever see it. Come to think of it, I don't think I ever see it. This makes me feel like more of an idiot.