Monday, August 13, 2007

Road Rage

"It's Road Rage, your days are numbered. What RZA put together let no man tear asunder..." - CS

I think I have road rage. I guess I know I do. More so recently. I think I average 1.3 flick-offs every time I drive. Given. Maybe more received.

The other day I was on 96th heading East waiting at the CPW light about to cross the park. In the right lane, I observed an opportunity opening up in the left, so I started merging as the light turned red. As I began my merge, I notice I have to stop short due to the red light and the car in front of me in the left lane. At this point, any driver with half a brain would see I have the spot behind the car in front of me taken. Not this van cabbie. He obviously had less than half a brain. He pulls up right next to me; mind you he has to move leftwards a bit in his lane so as not to bump me. There we are, window to window, and I am giving him the dirtiest "what the fuck!?" look ever. This pussy has his head turned left, away from me. Cut off for a shirt, asian, bluish round sunglasses. He finally turns his head to me as I mouth, pretty clearly, "w-h-a-t t-h-e f-u-c-k a-r-e y-o-u d-o-i-n-g???"

I pull up. He pulls up.

The rage is boiling.

I pull up to signal my seriousness. He pulls up more.

The rage is boiling.

I pull up even more while glaring at this loco. He pulls up even more.

Light turns green.

Skillfully, I manage to maneuver myself so that I am side by side with the car in front of me... this car starts turning left at the light as to reveal a perfect view of this cabbie, as well as my perfect window of opportunity.

As I am speeding to my victory and in to the park, I unleash a scathing, unadulterated, uncensored, 7-8 second serving of pure, raw middle finger,it's paleness shining in the sun, signaling from the bottom of my soul a resounding "Go fuck yourself you miserable piece of shit!"

As a driver, maybe even as a person, I have never felt so fulfilled as I did at that precise moment.


J said...

This invokes the memory of that one time we almost came to blows in your car. That was Road Rage-induced, wasn't it? It's not me, it's you. Kind of a "why the fuck are we having this argument if I'm driving?" sort of thing.

DAT said...

i think you're right

Stone said...

That story goes down in history. I wasn't even there. Btw, the pic for this post is hysterical.