Maximum Driving Age

"Drive slow homie/ Drive slow homie/ Ya never know homie might meet some hoes homie/ Ya need to pump your brakes and drive slow homie..." - KW

Here's I look at it, in a series of interrelated points/factoids:

a) The minimum age to drive in the US is, on average about 17-18 years old.

b) Life takes the graphic form of y equals negative x-squared. For all you non-8th grade math teachers out there, that means Life is an upside down parabola.

c) Old people are slow at things.

So, without further ado, my theory:

I think... actually, I know that there should be a maximum driving age in the US. AND, I think it should be... [drum roll please]

71

Here's how I arrived at the magic number. So, I figure that you don't really become conscious of your surroundings, thoughts, ideas, life until about 11-12. It is at that point that you start thinking for yourself, developing memories that you remember on a consistent basis. That is about 7 years off of the minimum driving age. So... the maximum driving age should be seven years away from when that consciousness ceases to exist. 78 - 7 = ... 71!

Plus, who the fuck likes being stuck behind an old geezer on the road??