Four Christmases

I saw Four Christmases the other day, and to be honest with you, I was not particularly impressed. This movie had all the making of a classic comedy - Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau, a pretty good plot, a semi-annoying girl - but unfortunately, it did not live up to its potential. They just could have done so much more with it. I did not find myself laughing all that much throughout the movie which I totally expected to do. I am not going to spoil anything for those of you who haven't seen it, we can save that for the comments section.

On another note, what the fuck is up with the poster above?? They really took photoshop to the extreme. Vince's head is waay to big and Reese Witherspoon looks like a midget. What, they couldn't have taken the time to get the two of them together and take a real photo? Why do they always do this with movie posters. They never look realistic.

True Blood

I guess this is pretty late for me to make this posting, but considering that I have been MIA with this blog, I guess I have to catch you up on things. This show on HBO which actually just had it's season finale (last night) is amazing. Initially, when I saw previews of it, I saw that Anna Paquin was in it and I was very not looking forward to it. That is because I hate Anna Paquin. I find her to be very very annoying. Plus people with gaps in their teeth piss me off. Get some braces motherfucker.
Anyway, I started to watch it and got addicted. It is still on HBO so you should check it out on demand if your cable has that hook-up. Here's the trailer:

I'm Still Here

Hey. I'm still here. I haven't forgotten about my blog. It hasn't turned into a blah-g like some of my friends'. I just have been doing other stuff, working a lot, sleeping a lot. Reading about politics a lot. Don't worry though. I'll be back soon with awesome new posts that will keep you entertained for 23 seconds of your day. See you soon!

This Is It

Well, it's almost over. So much time spent following this election cycle. I must admit, I have gotten a tad obsessed with it. I really do not know what I am going to do after tomorrow. I think I average at least 10 political articles a day, and that does not count checking countless polling sites. I guess I'm afraid of "Post-Election Depression."

I am so FUCKING excited for tomorrow. Pardon the cursing, but it needs to be there. I'm getting up early and heading back to my first American school for my first American vote. How ironic (and circular). I hope there aren't any lines because for all the excitement I am going to have, I also am going to be shit tired.

My channel of choice for tomorrow night's festivities is CNN. They do, simply put, have the best political team. I would totally like to f to the uck Campbell Brown. Maybe also Soledad O'Brien. Definitely David Gergen.

I want a magic map. I want to have a magic map in my room that I can walk over to and play around with, acting like I have an audience in front of me. It's the shit!

I hate McCain's one liners. "Joe the Plumber". "The Mac is Back!" "We're a couple of points down, but..." I wonder what he's going to be up to after all this. Probably will retire in a year or two.

I'd like to point out a that I predicted an Obama victory back in early January. Granted, it was an Obama-Edwards win over Romney-Giuliani... but an Obama victory nonetheless!!

Speaking of which (witch), FUCK RUDY GIULIANI!! What a piece of dog shit. Even his ugly-ass son hates him. Bitch.

Anyway, that's it. Go out and vote!

Ho the Plumber

Top 10 Things John McCain Cannot Do

10. Play on monkey bars

9. Answer questions in my classroom

8. Rope a horse

7. Shoot a free throw

6. Eiffel Tower

5. High Five (only medium or low)

4. Jumping jacks

3. Raise the roof

2. Reach across the aisle

1. Win this election

Jingles

These commercial jingles have really been killing me recently. Specifically, there are two that I hear all the time that annoy the shit out of me.

1) Five Dollar Foot Long

Clever campaign by Subway, but just so damn annoying. Plus, leaves so much room open for inappropriate innuendos. I heard one of my kids singing it to herself while doing work. That's when you know the jingle has really penetrated pop culture.

2) Saved by Zero

Just plain annoying by Toyota. Mostly because this one really gets in my head, also because I have seen this commercial probably 7 times to day while watching football on CBS. Make that 8 times. ARGGHHH.

What jingles (present and past) just kill you?

Buzzkill

Bringing Out The Worst

Going off of a great post from Victoria, I want you all to check this out:



I mean, in the words of the aforementioned blogger, WHHHHATTT???

This election is bringing out the worst in some Americans. And it's not McCain's fault, it's the fault of his racist supporters. Not all of them, but definitely these in the video. Palin's got in her the holy spirit, Obama is anti-white, like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??? People think racism is dead or its so much better than before and then you see something like this. And these people are so dumb they would share their racist views with a camera. Think of all those who share these views but would never say them out loud.

Obama's potential presidency has showed us that we have come a long way in our history. But think, could it have happened anytime else then on the heels of the worst 8 years ever and during the biggest financial crisis ever? Is that what it takes to elect a non-white male to the highest office? True, it's not like many non-whites run for president, but still. Many will say that if Obama is elected, that's it, the blacks got what they wanted, not they can stop complaining and screaming "racism." But that is just not true. These people in the video showed that we are a LOOONG way from true tolerance, true acceptance, and true intelligence.




As an aside, weird to have a white guy reporting for Al-Jazeera. I guess those are my stereotypes acting up.

Come Up With A Caption For This...!!

[EDIT: I found a much better one!]

When It Rains It Pours

OK so this did not happen to my car last week to yesterday, but it sure felt like it. I start with last week.

Thursday - I take my car to get it's annual inspection and an oil change. The guy informs me I need my two front tires changed. I'm skeptical at first, but find that the front two are in fact very worn out, the left one being down to the metal wiring of the tire. I get pretty paranoid that my tire will blowout and I will die. I then change my plans for the weekend to drive my car to my parents place and take my dads car for the 4 hour drive.

Saturday - I wake up at 7am and proceed down to my car. As I walk up to it, dreary eyed, I notice a hole in my roof. Let me repeat that: I walk up to my car and see a FUCKING ripped hole in the passenger side of the front. Some asshole took a knife and sliced through my roof. He then proceeded to go through my napkins apparently, might have taken my aviators, some pens, and THATS IT. He missed the EZPass in my glove compartment, my quarters, CDs, iphone charger. I mean, thank God he missed them, but cutting through my roof for that?? WHAT THE FUCK!!!

Tuesday - I am coming home from dinner with my taped roof and I get stopped at a po-po checkpoint. I am informed that because my front headlight is out, I will be getting a summons which requires me to immediately to get it changed in order not to pay the fine. He then takes 20 minutes to fill out 10 lines of basic information. Maybe cops are not the brightest spots in the gene pool? Fuck the police.

Today - I GOT IN THE ZONE! AUTOZONE! I took my car to Autozone to get a new headlight. Some dude who shadily worked there checked out my car and I turned on my lights for him and all of them worked! So he played around for a bit and decided it was a short circuit issue. I decided to pay him 20 bucks for the info which I know regret because I think I totally unjewed him (i.e. paid him way too much). Afterwards I took my car to the 42nd precinct in the Bronx and got a cop to fill out a form saying my headlight was OK. Later, it went out again.

What The F*ck Is Up?

What the hell is going on in the stock market? One day it's down 700 points, next day its up 900 points. The Dow is like a bipolar girlfriend. She gives all of these mixed signals and what are we supposed to think??

Whats the public supposed to think now. Is everything OK now that the Dow is back up? Obviously not but this huge jump today makes me think stuff isn't that bad. It probably is and I have no clue. We'll have to wait til tomorrow.

Sarah Pal(es)in Comparison

I used to not like Sarah Palin just based on the fact that my ideology did not match hers. Also because I though she was dangerously inexperienced for the office she was running for. I still think that. But this past week, I realized that on top of being inexperienced and wrong-viewed, she is just plain dumb.

I don't know if any of you have seen her piece with Katie Couric. I will give you a less than two minute snapshot of her "foreign policy experience." Watch:



Um. OK. WHAT THE FUCK??? This woman is dangerous in her retardedness. Like wow. I'm going to leave that clip at that.

I am really looking forward to this debate on Thursday. I just hope Biden is humble and not overbearing. I hope he lets Palin do the fucking up on her own. He needs to tread carefully. Because all the conservatives will be quick to pounce and call ANY criticism sexist. The funny thing is, and this was in a CNN article by Campbell Brown a week or two ago, the ultimate sexism has been exhibited by the Republicans and McCain by NOT letting Palin out of their sight for any interviews. They did that and now look at her. She is like a deer in the headlights. In Alaska.

Alas.

(Ka)

Notorious

Why?

Why do I do this to myself? Every day my alarm sounds at 6:00AM. I spend the next three 10-minute snooze cycles promising myself that I would go to bed earlier that night. I curse myself when I finally rise. "Why did I go to bed so late? Why do I procrastinate sleep?"

And yet here I am. Again. Always again. In front of my computer. CNN on. Browsing the same sites minute after minute. CNN.com. ESPN.com. Facebook, Gmail, missinfo. Other blogs. Over and over and over.

I go from my bed to my computer. From my computer to my bed. I am exhausted. And yet, I do not go to bed. I procrastinate sleep. I concrastinate being awake.

Another tired day to look forward to tomorrow.

The Jonas Brothers

Who the hell are these people? The brunette Hanson? I just kept hoping they would go away but they're still here, like your kitchen cockroaches. God damn it. I heard they wear little rings on their left hands to symbolize saving themselves for marriage? What the FUCK???

It Ain't Trickin If You Got It

So I've come across this phrase that I have heard a ton recently and I had no clue what it meant. Hopefully this won't be like my previous encounter with unknown jargon which all my readers seemed to know already.

So I first heard the phrase on Lil Wayne's "A Milli":
"And it ain't trickin if you got it,
But you like a bitch with no ass, you ain't got shit"

Then again on Weezy's "Got Money":
"Bitch ain't shit but a hoe and a trick
But you know it ain't trickin if you got it"

Then again on T-Pain's "Believe It":
"I can put you in the log cabin, somewhere in aspen
Girl ain't nothing to the pain aint trickin if you got it what you askin....for "

And then again on T.I.'s "Whatever You Like":
"Hundred K deposits, vacations hit the tropics
Cause errbody know it ain't trickin if ya got it
Ya need to never ever gotta go to yo wallet
Long as I got rubberband banks in my pocket "

So of course I kept thinking about what that meant. Finally googled and found the following:

"Trickin is when a dude gives ridiculous amounts of money and gifts to women to try and gain their affection. Tricks spend their last dime and run up all their credit cards on women. You usually call a guy a "trick" in a demeaning way... A lot of dudes, when they're being cocky or want to express how wealthy they are, will say it's not really trickin if you have more than enough money to do it."

Then I went, ooooooooooooooh.

But it is kind of a double standard. So you can only pay for girls stuff if you have the money to do it, and if you don't you're "trickin"? You both have the same goal in mind. Man, if that's true, then I have been a trick my whole life! It would be, "it is trickin cause I don't got it!"

Anyway, what do you think, is it actually not trickin if you got it?

The Game

Why does The Game name-drop ALL THE TIME in his songs? This is always a question I had and it's very annoying.
In his most recent song, "My Life" with Lil Wayne, he name dropped 12 different people!!! (Kurt Cobain, Biggie, Kanye (twice!), Beenie Sigel, John Lennon, Erick Sermon, Jesse Jackson, Mary J Blige, Common, Chris Paul, Don Imus, Suge Knight).
In his first single ever, "Westside Story," he name drops 9 people, including Dre 3 times.
In "One Blood" he name drops another 8 people.
On "Hate It Or Love It" he shares the rapping with 50, so only gets to name drop 5 people.
And I'm only talking about actual people he name-drops, not the cars or clothes or neighborhoods or gangs that are ever-present in his music. Sheesh.

Look Alikes: Korean Airlines Logo and Pepsi Logo

Back From Vacay

Aww, isn't that cute?
So I'm back from my blogging vacation and, consequently, my summer vacation. Tomorrow (later today) marks the end of my 1.5 months of worthlessness. I guess I am a little excited to get back to work, but I know I won't be in a week or two.
Let's see, in other news:

-Michael Phelps won 8 golds on the Olympics that started on 8-8-08. Kind of weird. I watched none of his victories. He's pretty ugly for the best Olympian ever. And now we have to see his face all the time.

-The Yankees have really really sucked ass recently. I will be very upset if they don't make the playoffs. Ugh.

-Very happy about gas going down in the past month. It's almost under 4 dollars. I guess we shouldn't have drilled, huh McLame?

-Both "Step Brothers" and "Pineapple Express" are hilarious. I think I am going to go see Tropic Thunder, even given my reservations. I can't believe the outrage over the movie isn't about Downey, Jr. in blackface, but about the profane making fun of mentally disabled retards (Ha! Thought I was going the politically correct route, huh?). I admit, knowing that is what kind of makes me want to see it.