Controlled Road Rage

You may think this post is about me keeping my road rage in control. Quite the opposite - I have really learned how to successfully control the output of my rage in such a way that my words come out clearly and stutter-free. I used to get so mad that I would mutter some Russian-accent shit that no one understood that made me even more mad! Or I would think of something way too late and miss the perfect opportunity for the rethwart (pun).

Not anymore!

I have had a sick streak recently of totally laying into the opposition. 

Exsickbit A:  Stuck behind a van at a red light. The light turned green and the van wasn't moving. I start honking; do not stop until the van moves (a good 10 straight seconds of honk). When finished I hear someone say "Shut up!" and think its  from an apt window. Light is red again. Some blond shaggy haired woman emerges on the sidewalk and says "You! Shut up!" I roll down my window as she says "So fucking rude!" Walks away. I say, "MIND YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS! NO ONE WAS FUCKING TALKING TO YOU!" I see her bright blue umbrella stop, then she walks back and starts saying something that I totally interrupt and say "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" As she walks away and the light turns green, I go around the van and honk more when I pass her.

Exsickbit B:  On way to work. Coming out of underpass stop for red light behind some cars. Look left. Some bum-ass old guy is positioning himself to piss on the wall of the underpass, third of a way up the staircase. I am dumbfounded and I get pissed. As he stops and walks away and I start driving, I roll down window and in clear concise American English: "FIND A BATHROOM!"

Exsickbit c:  Way back from dinner, about to go on Damn Macombs Bridge (pun). Traffic cops out to regulate bc end of Yankees game. I am first at red light. Looking at my phone. Look up, light is already green and traffic cop is belligerently waving his hands for me to go. Then makes some mocking hand movements as if he's holding the wheel and doesn't know what to do (making fun of me) as I am approaching him he is muttering some F-words. Without missing a single beat, I say turning to him- "FUCK OFF!!"

What A Horrible Weekend for NY Sports...

... I mean seriously. The Rangers blow a 3-1 series lead, and the freakin Yankees get swept by the Red Sux, in an extremely embarassing fashion.

I was away in DC, was that the problem?

Anyway, only one thing can make me feel better, and that thing is the following trailer:

Look Alikes: Reverend from "Haunting in Connecticut" and Agent from "Law & Order: SVU"

New movie from the director of Office Space

Um... Amazing

Look Alikes: Wall-E and Johnny 5 from Short Circuit

Look Alikes: Kid from AT&T Rollover Minutes Commercial and Anthony Anderson

Old School NYC

So this is apparently a photo of Broadway in New York City from get this...

1848!

I've always been fascinated with old photos of the city. Not just old like 1920's, 1930's, but "old" like 1700's, 1800's. I mean, look at the photo! It's crazy how different it looked back then! 

Some more old pics of NYC can be found here.

Some highlights (albeit later than 1848):

West St. circa 1885

Broadway circa 1894

Twitter Killed The Blog Star

You know twitter does that. It sucks all the good ideas out of you (in under 140 characters only). I have ideas, but I then immediately twit them. No need for a blog post now.

It's like masturbating. A quickie. A tad shameful if you've been blogging a lot.

Nonetheless I can't use Twitter as an excuse not to blog. And neither can you.

Some Major Code Switching...

"Well... At Least He Kept Us Safe!"

What's bothering me recently is the amount of people coming on networks like MSNBC and CNN and arguing about Bush's legacy. The anchors usually spew out a bunch of awful numbers about how horrible Bush was, and the defendents always come out with the same line:

"Well, at least he kept us safe!"

And that seems to be the main mantra for all the Bush apologists. Yes he ran up the deficit, yes he fucked up Katrina, yes he mixed religion and politics, yes he crumbled the economy, yes he lied about Iraq... but, at least he kept us safe!

As Polow Da Don says... "Wait A Minute, Mothaf*cka!"

The thing is, he DID NOT keep us safe! Last time I checked, September 11, 2001 is listed in the history books as 9 months AFTER Bush took office. If a baby can be born in that amount of time, couldn't Bush and his cronies stop the worst terrorist attack on US soil EVER???

And yet, when that fact is mentioned to all these Bush dick-riders, they come back with, well, you know you can't just blame something that happened during a president's watch on the president! Huh? Um, what? Chris Matthews tries to argue this with Ari Fleisher in the link I provided above for MSNBC. It's retarded and ridiculous. Bush sucked. At everything. Period.

I'm On Twitter

twitter.com/theDAT

Look Alikes: Creed from "The Office" and Locke from "Lost"

D@ Playlist - March 10, 2009

1. Walkin On The Moon - The-Dream ft. Kanye West
2. Turnin Me On (Remix) - Keri Hilson ft. T-Pain, Lil Wayne
3. Kiss Me Thru The Phone - Soulja Boy ft. Sammie
4. Drop - Rich Boy
5. We Are The People - Empire Of The Sun

SNOW DAY!!!

Wow, it looks like all my complaints here were finally adressed!

This is remarkable. Unbelievable. Amazing. Sick. Wonderful.

The last time NYCDOE schools closed were January 28, 2004. Five years ago. And now today, March 2, 2009.

I feel like a private school teacher.

What will I do today? Laundry. Gym. Food. The possibilities are endless. There is no better feeling that to wake up to someone telling you that there is no school today. I thought I forgot how that feeling felt and that I would never feel it again. I was dead wrong!!

Sad

So the rumor is that Chris Brown and Rihanna are back together again.

I personally feel very saddened by this news and here's why:

Chris Brown beat the shit out of Rihanna. For whatever reason it was for, he laid his hands on a woman. The photo of her after the ordeal is the proof in the pudding  (or not?). Now, it is my personal belief that one should NEVER, EVER touch a woman in that manner. Let me repeat that:

A woman should never be disrespected and hurt like that by another man.

What upsets me so much though is not the fact that she would take him back after what has happened, but the message this sends to all of her female fans.

She is basically condoning Chris Brown's behavior.

She is saying it is alright for a man to beat down a woman he supposedly loves, because Chris beat her down, but she went back to him.

I mean C'MON, what the fuck?!?!?! Have some god damn balls Rihanna!!! This is pathetic. You can have ANYONE. But you choose to take back this weasel after he laid his hands on you for the whole world to see.

It's just sad to me, very very sad. It shows how insecure Rihanna is. It shows how young and immature she is when it comes to relationships. Moreover, it sends a very very dangerous message: it is ok to forgive and forget when a man hits you. That should NEVER be OK. I don't care what the woman did, or how bad she hurt the guy. I don't care if she slept with his best friend, took a video of it and sent it to his parents, you NEVER hit a girl.

The only solace I have is that Chris Brown's career is over. I hope at least that it is. A part of me though thinks that just like Rihanna took him back, his fans will as well. 

And now, a parody:

YOU DIDN'T TAKE ME DOWN LAST NIGHT!!

Snow in March?!?

So if you haven't heard it's supposed to snow 6-10 tonight and tomorrow.

WHAT THE FUCK.

You know, I used to love snow. And the potential for snow days. That was until I started working for the NYC Dept. of Ed. First off, there is always an absolute ZERO percent chance that I will have a snow day. That's because school NEVER gets called off.

Here's the thing about that: this year I started working as my school's Attendance Coordinator. This means I am in charge of the Attendance Committee (composed of the principal, guidance counselor, family worker, parent coordinator and a teacher). We meet Mondays to look at our year-to-date attendance, as well as those kids who have "trouble" coming to school every day. Last year, our school's attendance for the whole year was 87.5%. That kind of blows. The goal every year is 90%. Even that kind of blows but is pretty good for a public school in the South Bronx.

So far this year our YTD attendance is 89.7%. Last year at this time it was 89.0%. So we have made progress. The thing is, on days that it snows profusely... NO ONE COMES. I mean, people come, but if on any average day we get an attendance rate anywhere from 85-95%, on days (probably) like tomorrow, we will get anywhere from 65-75%. 

THIS BLOWS HARD!!

Mainly, because it's hard to rebound from a shitty day like that. Also because kids that do come end up getting sick because of the cold and then missing more school days later. 

In situations like this, it is just better for the chancellor and/or mayor to just call school off. But that never happens in the public school world (that would make too much sense).

This Guy Is A Certified Maniac

Alan Keyes?? He was supposed to be a respected politician? What the hell is wrong with him???

D@ Playlist - February 20, 2009

1. Topless - Dr. Dre ft. T.I., Nas
2. All The Above - Maino ft. T-Pain
3. Rockin' That Shit - The-Dream
4. Digital Girl - Jamie Foxx ft. Kanye West, The-Dream
5. Move On - Slaughterhouse

Sinister

What's up with B-Ob's signature form? Looks like he's trying to touch his thumb to his forearm. And I was going to try and write a whole blog post about it, but then I caught this video on cnn.com about it and it seemed plagiaristic to go further: