Curious Case

They really did an amazing job with the make-up/effects. For half of these scenes below I actually thought it was Brad Pitt!

Whats up with all these mall cop movies?

This is like Paul Blart on drugs. But it looks amazing.

People/Things I Hate

1) People that don't take off plastic protection covers from electronics

I never got this and it annoys me to no end. You just purchase a new electrical product, let's say an iphone or whatever else, and it's got a plastic sticky thing on it, obviously meant to be taken off after purchase. But you don't take it off. Why? Why don't you? Hey.. I know why! It's because you're retarded. Yes, you are mentally deficient for doing that and for that, I hate you.

2) People who ride Brett Favre's dick

Listen, I have a newsflash for all y'all: BRETT FAVRE SUCKS! Yes, he is not good. Not good at all. Let's think about why? Hmm...maybe it's because for every 1.5 touchdowns he throws, he throws 1 interception. Let me think, is that good? MMMM.... NO! So then why do you think he is so good?!? Why? I know why, because you're retarded. And, I hate you.

3) That the New Yorker cover does not correspond to a cover story

Man, I've caught myself so many times standing next to a magazine stand ruffling through the New Yorker and for the life of me not understanding why I can't find the cover story. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! Very annoying. Whoever thought of that... I hate you.

Lost

So Lost is officially the shit again, if you haven't been following along. The new season started last Wednesday to the tune of 20 millions viewers. Tonight's episode was sick. So sick that I suggest you start watching this season if you have watched Lost before. And if you haven't, I suggest you catch up as fast as humanly possible (I have seasons 1-3 to lend if you want).

I want to mention some things about tonight's episode. If you haven't watched it yet, don't read on. There will be some spoilers.


Here are my top 3 moments of the episode, followed by some stream of consciousness thoughts:

1) When Richard admonishes the young British soldier revealing him to be Charles Whitmore

- so Whitmore is an Other?!? What the FUCK?? This is why Locke couldn't shoot at him, because he can't change the future. But Whitmore did kill that other soldier dude. Maybe that was Charlotte's father? Maybe that is why she looks like she's going to die, because she is getting erased (BtotheF style?). Now this totally connects Whitmore to Ben (and Richard). Now what happened with Ben and Whitmore? Where was the falling out? Does Whitmore remember the un-Oceanic 6 (Sawyer, Juliet, Locke, Miles, Charlotte, Faraday) from his island days? Is this why he funds Faraday's research?

2) When Desmond hears from the braindead lady's sister that Whitmore funded Faraday

- damn I feel sorry for Desmond. He just cannot escape his in-law. This guy is everywhere for him. Took some balls for him to walk into his office like that. Ultimately, Whitmore cannot hate the dude. He knows he is making his daughter happy. But now they are going to LA. And didn't Ben promise to kill Penny? Uh-oh.

3) When Faraday makes the little I'm-in-love-with-Charlotte speech

- Yes, a little cheesy, but I still liked it. Especially when the Lost violin music plays. Nice to see that happening for someone other that Jack-Kate-Sawyer. Which brings me to my next point:

Honorable mention: This was the first episode in a long time that did not have Jack, Kate or Ben. A welcome respite, I think. Plus, I like Desmond episodes. And I am beginning to like this little time traveling that the un-Oceanic 6 is partaking in. Although it is a tad-far fetched, what isn't on this magical little island?

Another thing to think about: so Locke tells Richard at the end of the episode to go to his hometown 2 years from 1954 in order to prove to him that he is actually being born. My question is purely procedural, from a time traveling point of view - how does Richard do this intially if not for Locke's statement to him in 1954? What I mean is, doesn't the whole process become circular. Richard sees Locke born, Locke grows up, goes back in time, tell Richard to go see him being born, Richard sees Locke born... and so on and so forth. When does the initial seeing of Locke being born take place IF NOT for Locke traveling back to tell Richard to do this??

Oh man, so much to take back from this episode. Looking forward to next week.

They Kind Of Have A Point

The Curious Case of Forrest Gump - watch more funny videos

Jay-Z Killin It

Jay-Z My President is black Remix LIVE 1-18-09 from pleasedontstare on Vimeo

My president is black in fact he's half white,
So even in a racist's mind he's half right
So if you gotta racist's mind it's alright
My president is black, but his house is all white!

Rosa parks sat so Martin Luther could walk,
Martin Luther walked so Barack Obama could run,
Barack Obama ran so all the children could fly,
So I'ma spread my wings, you could meet me in the sky!

... And Barack Says Hello.

Today marks the start of an extremely promising time, the beginning of the term of the 44th president, Barack H. Obama. This is a time that, personally as I am sure for many others, fills my heart with joy. I look at Obama, I look at his family, and I feel a sense of pride, a sense of accomplishment. The expectations are through the roof for this guy, and rightfully so. He campaigned on a platform of change, and that is exactly what this country needs right now. But what this country also needs right now is a responsibility to take Barack's message(s) to heart. We must all start being more responsible for the way this country is being run, for what is happening around us. This country will not get better based on the power of one man. It will only get better based on the power of the collective. But that is the power that Obama commands; he has the ability to bring about change from the collective. He motivates and empowers the public. This is exaclty what democracy is about. But it is something that must not be taken for granted. It has been taken for granted the past 8 years (see below post) and we have seen what that has brought. While W. motivated us to strive for mediocrity, O. motivates us for the opposite. But this means we need to hold him accountable. We need to hold him to his promises. We need to hold our local officials accountable as well. This is the only way change will come.

This is a time of great promise and hope. The next days, weeks, months will require us as a people to translate that promise and hope into action and results. I for one look forward to it.

George Says Goodbye...

Tonight marks the last night of George W. Bush's presidency. As we look back on his 8 years in office there are a lot of issues to think about. I think the most important thing that we must do is not forget. I even catch myself in the last days of him in office feeling complacent in my memory of him. That is not acceptable. He failed. He failed horribly. But it is no more than a judgment of us as a people. It is us as a people who failed. Just like an abused housewife who allows the awful things to happen to her, we as a people allowed this shitshow of a government to run this country into the ground. That is why we must not forget. It is because we cannot let it happen again. We must not forget how Bush lied to the people to go to war. How he politicized the biggest tragedy of the past century time and time again. How he mixed faith and politics. How he butchered Katrina. How he allowed torture. How he took money away from valid scientific research that could have saved lives. How he ruined relations with foreign neighbors. We just cannot forget all of that. This country has had a tendency in the past 20 years to strive to mediocrity. As if having people with an education if office was a horrible thing. We saw this during the campaign season. How Obama was labeled as an elite for graduating from Harvard and Columbia. How Palin was considered qualified after attending 5 different low-tier colleges. This type of acceptance of mediocrity is what got Bush into office. Make no mistake about it, if he lost in 2000, this country would have been a better place right now. The biggest argument I have heard people making is "well at least Bush kept everyone safe the past 7 years." Yea? Well at what price? At the price of detaining and torturing innocent people? Or at the price of instilling a politics of fear into the average citizen? Or, was the threat not that big to begin with?

Regardless, now, fortunately, Bush will take his rightful place in the past. But we must use this past to guide our future.

Taking Names

This blogging thing is kind of tough. No one said it was going to be easy. By logging onto this here Blogger site, creating a new blog and advertising it to a few friends, you make a commitment to post at least sometimes. I have tried to keep it consistent, keep it fresh, witty, interesting. And it is difficult. You go through highs and lows, just like anything. I want to take the time out now though to call some people out, take some names, give a sort of assessment of blog life between commonly linked blogs. Maybe this will breathe some life into some pathetic situations.


Name: The Red Umbrella
1st post: 4/30/2007
Last post: 11/27/2008
Average: 3.9 days per 1 blog post
Days since last post: 53
Status: Flatlined

What started off as a promising blog about politics, style, fashion and other daily musings slowly started to deteriorate in the beginning 2008 into a sad display of a working man's "lack of time." I wrote in February of that year "Where have you gone, Vinson C---?" Unfortunately, you haven't yet come back.


Name: New York City Marsala
1st post: 4/17/2008
Last post: 12/15/2008
Average: 4.3 days per 1 blog post
Days since last post: 35
Status: Flatlining

A free-spirited "spicy" blog started off promising to share with us "the shit that occurs [to the author] on a daily basis." I guess it is pretty obvious now that shit has stopped occurring to the author ever.


Name: A Moment's Worth of Musing
1st post: 8/8/2007
Last post: 1/17/2009
Average: 2.8 days per 1 blog post
Days since last post: 2
Status: Self-proclaimed flatline

Blowing the aforementioned and soon-to-be mentioned blogs out of that water with the days-per-blog average, the author of "moments" felt that was not good enough to keep gracing us with his (a)musings. Lack of comments drove him away. What will drive him back?


Name: What I Do
1st post: 7/14/2008
Last post: 1/5/2009
Average: 5.3 days per 1 blog post
Days since last post: 14
Status: Unknown

"What he does" must be not post blogs. What started off as an attempt to jumpstart the flailing "Christopher Robert Myself," ended up as flailed as the original.



The moral of the story:

STOP ACTING LIKE ASSHOLES AND START POSTING!

Headphones Don't Stay in My Ears

Headphones don't stay in my ears. It is a very annoying problem that I have had ever since they invented the individualized connector-free headphones. The issue is that whenever I talk or I smile my ears close up. Weird, I know. Borderline disgusting too. Some have said my ear holes look like a vagina when they do this. I tend to reluctantly concur. The most annoying thing is at the gym. During my workout I concoct my face in a variety of different ways, most of which result in my vagina ears tightening up. This forces any object penetrating said holes to fall out. Thus I am forced to wear headphones that have that thingie in the back that connects to the back of the ear and makes them stay in place. I thought this was an excellent solution for a couple of years. I even wore these headphones out in public. Then I remember I looked at my reflection in a subway car and realized I looked like a mixture of Spock and Mickey Mouse. Embarrassing. But not as much as having ears that look like a 5 year old's anus. Tight.

How Bout Them Iggles?!

Watch the Big Blue - Iggles today? I did. A-S-S kicking. Very fun to watch. For me. Most likely not for you. Let's get this out of the way early: yes I am from NYC, but I am a Philly Eagles fan. Why? Because when I got into football back when I was 9 or 10, the guy who got me into it was an eagles fan. That was back in '93 and '94. Rich Kotite years. He sucked. So I've liked them for awhile.

Anyway, we have been playing REALLY well. Check that, we haven't really been playing that well, but we've been playing a whole lot better then the teams we've faced so far. Westbrook's not healthy. But people are stepping up. Next up are the Cardinals. Who would have thought that?!? But they're also playing well. I am confident though because last time we face them we beat them by 28 points. Blow. Out.

PS. The NY media needs to layoff Eli. This guy brought you a championship last season for god's sake!!! Yes, he had a bad game today. GET OVER IT. He is not Peyton. You will never ever grow to like him. And that's sad because if it wasn't for him, you would have done shit last season.

Why Is The World On Tim Tebow's Dick?

Let me start off by saying that I do not like missionaries. Not one damn bit. Now I know they do all this amazing work with poor people in third world countries, but I hate the fact that they impose their religious beliefs on disadvantaged people. If you want to do good in this world, then do it for the sake of the person, not because you want to convert them to Christianity in the long run.

That and missionaries freak me out. They all look brainwashed and they got this freak twinkle in their eye. I guess you can call that faith but I call it craziness. Tim Tebow has that twinkle. Oh yea, and he also has eye black with verses on them. As such:


I mean c'mon! Anyway, the whole world seems to be on it's knees licking the Tebow-ne steak. Articles like this and like this serve to piss me off. Plus, this came out of nowhere. Like maybe 1.5 weeks ago the world got infected with this virus and its all I heard about. I don't like to constantly hear about one thing. Especially something like this.

I probably would have liked him a lot more if he didn't write "John 3:16" or "Dickface 2:34" under his eyes every game.

It's Ciroc!

"Come fly with me..!"

With these words starts the new entrant for the most-common-and-most-annoying commercial competition of the last couple of months. First it was Toyota's "Saved by Zero" ad. Then and shortly thereafter came Subway's "Five dollar footlong" commercial. And now, it's Diddy's Ciroc Ultra Premium vodka commercial.

This shit runs so god damn often! Like ALL THE TIME. I don't get it. NO ONE IS GOING TO BUY IT! There are too many good vodkas out there. Grey Goose. Stoli. Russian Standard. Kettel One. What, are you going to be at a bar and get yourself a vodka cranberry and make a special request for Ciroc? No!

The other thing is, it sounds like it should be a Jay-Z-made vodka. Mainly because when you say it you sound like a french guy shouting out Rocafella. It's Ci Roc!

Happy New Year!

A tad late, I know, but I was away boozin and cruisin. Before I make 2009 predictions, let's take a look back at my '08 version. Here are my predictions from 1/1/08:

- Bloomberg will enter the race in March but won't win. Obama-Edwards vs. Romney-Giuliani in the finals. The former will take it in November.
MIXED: Well, I was right about the main event, not so much about anything leading up to it :/

-Patriots will not win the Superbowl, failing to even reach it. 16-0* goes down the drain.
CORRECT!: Again though, a tad mixed. They did lose the Superbowl, although they reached it.
-Bonds will be charged and will have to serve time. His records will be erased. Many more names will come out from the scandal.
FALSE: Eh, wishful thinking.

-The Yankees will win the World Series in 6 games against the New York Mets, playing their final game ever in Yankee Stadium.
FALSE: No comment.

-The Knicks will continue to suck and Isiah Thomas' job will continue to be safe. Until the end of the season. When he gets fired. And Dolan puts the team up for sale.
CORRECT!: He was fired! But alas, no team for sale.

-The Beijing Olympics will be surrounded by controversy based on the child-labor grievances present against China. People will boycott.
MIXED: There was controversy, but not so much about the child-labor stuff. What was I thinking?

So, 2008 has come and gone. What does 2009 have to offer. Here we go:

-The economy will continue to flounder and tank until about June when by all accounts, it will start performing better than expected. But a crisis of some sort will throw it right back into the shitter by the end of the summer.

-Georgetown will make it to the Final Four. There they will face UNC and blow them out by 20. They will go on to WIN the NCAA Men's Basketball National Championship.

-The Yankees will open their season up in their new stadium and blow everyone out of the water. CC will finish 18-4 with a 2.58 ERA, Burnett will go 15-9 with a 3.98 ERA, M-Tex will bat .338 with 48 homers, the Yankees will finish with a 102-60 record, the AL East crown AND a World Series Championship!

-Obama will be able to get much done in office, mostly by way of his post-partisan approach. Four key pieces will be passed with bi-partisan support in '09.

-Eminem and Dr. Dre will release their long awaited albums.

-The Superbowl will be played between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh, which the Iggles will win 34-21!


Well, that's it. A lot of number but I want to be held accountable for my deep knowledge.

Here's to '09!

Rick Warren

So if you haven't been following recent political news, there has been a firestorm of negative reaction circulating regarding President-Elect Obama's choice to have Rick Warren, the mega-church evangelical, give the invocation at the inauguration. It is a pretty fascinating piece of news and I want to share my thoughts on it.

First off, just as an informative baseline, Rick Warren is the founding pastor at the Saddleback Church, this megachurch in Cali that boasts 23,000 members, making it the largest church in Cali, and the 4th largest in the US. He wrote a book, "The Purpose Driven Live," which has sold 20-some million copies. He is ultra socially conservative, but has managed to focus his churches efforts on usually untraditional evangelical causes like poverty or AIDS. In August during the election cycle, he hosted both Obama and McCain for a forum on faith. Safe to say, this guy is a big deal.

So this firestorm that has erupted comes (obviously) from the liberal and progressive side. They cannot fathom how someone so liberal and progressive like Obama, who built his platform on inclusion, positivity and hope could tap someone like Warren who holds these divisive and conservative social views to give the inaugural invocation. There have been articles upon articles written in newspapers and in the blogosphere about how Obama "conned" liberals and has made the worst decision ever.

Everybody just needs to calm down.

Obama made a GREAT decision. And this is coming from someone who is ultra socially liberal. I could not disagree more with Warren's views on abortion, gay marriage and a plethora of other social topics. But guess what? I recognize that a vast percentage of this country does NOT hold my views. I recognize that there are millions of evangelicals who will call Obama their president come January 20th. I recognize that if we truly want real "Change," that we will need to start working with people who we have never worked with before!

Liberals keep slamming Obama on the "Change" message. How can he select this Warren guy if he based his political platform on changing the way things are done? Well you know what? This IS change! It would have been very convenient for Obama, a liberal, to select someone who is also a liberal and who holds exactly the same views as him. That has been done before by almost every president. That is NOT change. Change is being able to admit that "hey, this guy does not hold the same views as me, but I still respect him and recognize that tens of millions of Americans look up to him. And I DON'T CARE what my base has to say about this because I know this is a good decision."

Obama has balls.

Like seriously. This is a huge slap in the face of people who thought Obama was just going to cater to the liberal left. Again, I AM a part of that left, but I do not want him to govern from here! Things just will not get done that way. Concessions need to be made. Compromises need to be reached. And to me, selecting Warren is a necessary concession, a worthwhile compromise. And I applaud Barack for doing it.

3 more? Try 5...

All of my private school teacher friends (not mentioned any names but on Backwards Day they would be Esoj and Sirhc) keep flaunting on their blogs that they have "3 more days." My extremely amazing deductive reasoning skills lead me to believe they are talking about their winter breaks, as in "3 more days" until winter break starts.

Well you know what, fuck THAT! I've got 5 more days! That is because in public school land, break doesn't start until next Wednesday. That's Christmas Eve Wednesday...

---digression alert---
When I was little and even now, I always thought "Christmas Eve" referred to the NIGHT before Christmas, not the whole day before Christmas. To me, the word "Eve" is short for "Evening" and thus should entail "night." I refuse to call the WHOLE day before Christmas a type of "Eve." I mean does anyone else feel the same way I do?? So OK, I wake up December 24th and think to myself, man, toDAY is Christmas Eve. Hell no! I wake up December 24th and then wait until dinner time and THEN I think to myself, man, toNIGHT is Christmas Eve! Don't you?
---digression terminated---

...a small detail I know, but exemplative of a much larger annoyance I experience when benchmarking my teaching experience with that of my peers. Private schools get so much more time off! And I am going to hate on that fact until I die. C'MON! You already sold out by deciding to work for privileged Jewish kids. Why should YOU get the privilege of getting more time off. Bullshit motherfucker! I disapprove wholeheartedly. Take your 3 days and shove it up your goyim asses!

TMZ

Have you ever watched the show "TMZ" on one of the basic channels. It's on I think every night at 7 or 7:30. Anyway, this show pisses me the fuck off. It's a bunch of pathetic ass losers standing around in a room talking about and jerking off over the most minute embarrassing celebrity details that are caught on tape. ARGH. Not only that, but they seem so satisfied in humiliating them. I don't get it. This unfortunate looking loser clique really pisses me off whenever I channel surf through them.

The thing is, sometimes you can't help but watch them talk about a photo of Miley Cyrus picking her nose. Or Kim Kardashian having a fat ass. Or Mickey Rourke being irrelevant. All of this serves to piss me off even more because I catch myself selling out to this the lowest form of entertainment. What the fuck does TMZ even stand for?

Great. Just looked it up. It stands for "Thirty Mile Zone." That is awesome. Awesomely annoying.

"Wanna Know How I Know You're Gay...?

Because you listen to Coldplay"



That being said, here are my top 5 Coldplay songs:

1. Amsterdam - A Rush of Blood to the Head (2002)

2. Fix You - X&Y (2005)

3. Swallowed in the Sea - X&Y (2005)

4. The Scientist - A Rush of Blood to the Head (2002)

5. Shiver - Parachutes (2000)

Jizz In My Pants

I Can't Believe It

I had a dream last night that I was in the studio with T-Pain laying down a verse for a remix of "Can't Believe It." I pretty vividly remember the start of my verse:

"I can take you for some dancing and some fun yo, all the way up to Moscow
Have you hanging out with the honchos."

Wow. Take a second.

What a WACK ASS LINE!!! I remember just trying to get something to rhyme with Moscow. T-Pain seemed to like it a lot. Ugh. Embarrassing.